oh pak abu. jangan datang malam ni.

woke up with the worst feeling ever.

the thing about me is that if dont get a straight soundless sleep (no, not talking about sounds because even if a crane is working outside my window i wouldnt give a damn. soundless meaning the kind of sleep that when u wake up you feel like a clean slate, blank almost. macam nak senyum je bangun-bangun. ok agak saiko jugak description but you get what i mean.) so anyways. i'd feel like i've been swimming with crap the whole night if;

-i cant sleep (bergolek bagai pon tak boleh tutup mata)
-i can sleep but i'd wake up at least 3 times if not every god damn hour.
-i can sleep but mimpi ooooohhh ngeri* nyela berbagai. atau mimpi bodoh yang bila bangun rasa nak menyimba (as in simba. menyinga. mengamuk.)

*mimpi ngeri adalah termasuk mimpi yang ada kaitan dengan exams. this is the worse kind. seemed to be coming true often if compared to other kind.

so to have 2 criteria get all mixed up in one night is a whole lot more than just feeling like swimming in a pool of crap.

get this. mimpi. kinda was in a brawl with my sis. prolly has something to do with the wardrobe (hahahah gilaaa vain la pulak aku ni.) then i talked to my dad. turned out i blew up even worse with him. then ntah apesal ade pulak function kat rumah aku punyalah ramai sedara-mara beserta strangers coming in. then aku mengamuk dengan brother videotaper/photographer. gaduh-gaduh. then my dad intervened. lagi aku meletop. tried to calm meself down lepaking with some cousins. that was an excruciatingly annoying experience. family drama. trashtastic. so then i finally decided to take up car keys and go for a drive. there was suddenly a helluva big truck passed by just as i closed the door and BAM! there was shitload of snow on my car i cant move. i couldnt get out of the car. huh.

macam haram tak? bangun dengan penuh kebencian. manaaaa ada snow kat pj woiii. aku dah penuh emo dah masuk kereta (because driving is therapeutic to me despite aku drive macam perempuan gila) kenaapaa harus snow? siap bergaduh dengan bapak. hahaha anak bertuah kalau alam nyata perangai macam tu. tak cukup dengan mimpi, sambung balik tido bangun tiap jam kot.

adela jugak bloodshot dalam mata (in addition sebab main game sampai lewat malam).

speaking of, apsal pulak la macam satu dunia melayan mafia wars ni? bukankah ia seperti druglord yang telah fofuler sejak bangku sekolah dahulu?

ape sajala labuuu asal kau bahagia.

gegh. the whole deal pimping my desktop to mac is resulting to dodol hangus.

huh. sungguh la aku ni x IT savvy. dengan firefox berlaku cilaka. dengan aeroshock tak dengar kata. dengan itunes berlaku selenge.

yish. bloodshot in my flipping eyes!

zomg. ZOMG. ZOMG!!!!

i am waaaay screwed than i think i am. i am now literally on the verge of barfing.

gegh. if only i could shake things off by just erm... shaking? sh sh shakin.



ok merepek. ohhhh fukken fuckety fuck.

glace

aha. thanks to milo ah aplod gamba selebet. sebab best tgk gamba then aku dengan semangat go thru gamba masa balik summer ok. pastuuu caaaaaaaaaaam tibak...

oh. sangat rindu glace okaaaay.

sekian.




p/s to milo : aku menunggu gamba kontroversi. jangan lupa.

aaaaaaahh!! aku kegelian amat sangat!

kenapa? sebab baru habis baca satu entry dalam blog azwan ali.

apsal die suke gune bahasa nyah aku tak paham.

sebab aku kegelian tahap maksima, aku mau share sama-sama.

BLOG AZWAN ALI

P/S : is he even relevant in the entertaintment industry?? seems like a Z-lister to me. tapi takkan nak kasik apek sorang je kot tayang muka kan? oh majulah sedikit malaysia.

randomness:

-pushing daisies is üüüüübercute, aint it? lee pace on the other hand is god damn dreamy. so my type.

-aku layan ally mcbeal, hercules and xena the warrior princess all at the same time. sangap tak sangaaap takkk??

-exams never cease to make me feel like barfing.

-on a lighter note, since ramai sungguh tak puas hati dengan kuda hitam (which btw aku sungguh melayan *sings kalaulah ada pacar hitam, hari panas senyum pun senaaaaang), i changed the tunes to hit the road jack. makes you wanna move, doesnt it?

holy shit.

2 malam. nightmare.

ingatkan tua-tua ni kalau mimpi hantu dah tak takut.

2 nights ago. mimpi antu. bangun dalam ketakutan. trust me baca ayat kursi 3 kali pon masih ketakutan. siap bukak lampu. mmmmmmmm takut pak abu tibak muncul (kekasihku seru reference). pak abu skeri.

the cold. doesnt help either.

perlukah tua bangka begini masih dalam ketakutan???

cycling in snow worth a week is. such. a. bitch.

sure it has been insanely exciting. cause this is the first time its really snowing in years that i've been here.

dan aku selalu commute naik bas saja. so the snow thingy never bugs me.

tapi setelah aku mencabar diri untuk naik beskal untuk 3-min trip ke schlecker, oh betapa ridiculousnya. 3-min bertukar menjadi 10 min (ok exaggerate sikit disini). but seriously. setiap cycle itu memerlukan konsentrasi yang sangat tinggi. main pingpong pon lagi senang (harus diambil kira aku buduh pingpong).

kepada sesiapa yang adrenalin junkie silala naik beskal atas snow tebal. rasailah betapa ridiculousnya tindakan anda.

i was really over the whole new year's resolution deal. really, i mean since im the type yang suka berhangat-hangat tahi ayam why should make a resolution just for the fact that it seems appropriate that everyone has to have at least one. but now, reflecting on my experience, my wants and desire, well, basically my whole damn existence, i have come upon a revelation. it shouldn' just be a new year's resolution. it should be my whole gravity. so i'd say ;

CARPE DIEM.

there you go. this could never go wrong. life shouldn't be based on my past. sure some things are just hard to let go. of the memories. of the regrets. and sure future doesn't really justify anything. specially the insecurities. but i should just focus on the present. make things happen. and therefore, carpe diem.