the whole deal with ovulating is - it annoys me. insanely.

its not just about stupid mood swings. which btw trigger some other stupid stuff. its the whole physical change. the whole breasts swelling, increase of appetite yang tak membantu sama sekali uterus buncitness. basically im not comfortable in my own skin. when i ovulate. even worse when im having period. which im not going into. tapi taknak la menopause. ooh and finally, my superbad skin breaks out as if tomorrow is the end of the world. they just have to get out. and see the world. konon-konon.

the point is, when both combined especially in the mid of exams week i finally understood why people became wristcutters. or pill popper.

i used to be this idealistic person. bila tengok movie ke cerita kat tv, kalau orang suicide aku mesti macam, 'hak enaaa. kot ye pon tak ade agama tapayah la dramatic sangat sampai nak terjun bangunan.'

now being the realistic person that i am, hopelessness really brings out the um... hopelessness? the why-cant-i-get-out-of-this-shit kinda feeling.

so there. another bitching bout ovaries and uterus. peace out.

this never gets old.

been wanting to vent for days but somehow i managed to do some other unworthy things which by now i cant even seem to remember.

aaanyhoo. ugh. weather. sucky. too cold. too windy. too wet. and i travel by bike. aku sudahlah begitu gigih memakai baju sejuk yang berbagai tapi somehow.. hmph. in vain. sejuk mencucuk kulit serupa macam bogel je. and there was this one time i had to desperately take a dump while cycling. the sejukness obviously doesnt help. bak kata this random person i met, 'taik dah nak berekor dah....'. and then once i got home, i went straight into the toilet and took a helluva crap. here's the thing about my toilet. its mutually exclusive from my shower therefore the water that i usually use came from the sink which by the way sape hentah invent sebab tade temperature control so its pretty damn cold. like cunt freeezing after berinstinjak kinda cold.

aanways back to my story of desperation of having to take a crap. went into that toilet. and ooooooo my. never have i experience feeling the warmth of that once-cunt-freezing water. boy if anyone would ask me what is the meaning pure bliss then i would say exactly say that. taking a crap in an insanely perfect comfort. how ironic is it to actually appreciate cold in cold? ok. kalau tak faham tak pe. my point is kesejukan diluar adalah sangat puaka sampai air sejuk toilet pon macam air panas. sudah.

the whole deal with exams is kinda tugging my emotions. macam pms sepanjang-panjang yang mungkin. demn la kenapa aku belaja kat sini. hmph.

this is a random shout out. arrested development : mayyjah! i remember i used to enjoy watching it on the tv but in all seriousness its like a masterpiece. hands down to the creator and writer. best thing. EVER. tidak seperti bende bodoh yang überhyped. macam heroes. and prison break. and one tree hill. even greys anatomy macam dah bodoh-bodoh. so i resort to good things. macam entourage. aquaaaahhh mannnn! ari gold btw has the best script. i wish i could talk like him. how the hell a normal could come up with something like that? his head must be like super fast.

ok. too much randomness. and words that shouldnt be used in front of your parents.


p/s : siapa ingat secreto de amor?? ahahah this song reminds me of a shirtless fabio-looking guy named carlos raul riding a horse. cracks me up everytime! gallop gallop *konon-konon penuh seksi*