i see butterflies with pistols

the whole deal with ovulating is - it annoys me. insanely.

its not just about stupid mood swings. which btw trigger some other stupid stuff. its the whole physical change. the whole breasts swelling, increase of appetite yang tak membantu sama sekali uterus buncitness. basically im not comfortable in my own skin. when i ovulate. even worse when im having period. which im not going into. tapi taknak la menopause. ooh and finally, my superbad skin breaks out as if tomorrow is the end of the world. they just have to get out. and see the world. konon-konon.

the point is, when both combined especially in the mid of exams week i finally understood why people became wristcutters. or pill popper.

i used to be this idealistic person. bila tengok movie ke cerita kat tv, kalau orang suicide aku mesti macam, 'hak enaaa. kot ye pon tak ade agama tapayah la dramatic sangat sampai nak terjun bangunan.'

now being the realistic person that i am, hopelessness really brings out the um... hopelessness? the why-cant-i-get-out-of-this-shit kinda feeling.

so there. another bitching bout ovaries and uterus. peace out.