the whole deal with ovulating is - it annoys me. insanely.

its not just about stupid mood swings. which btw trigger some other stupid stuff. its the whole physical change. the whole breasts swelling, increase of appetite yang tak membantu sama sekali uterus buncitness. basically im not comfortable in my own skin. when i ovulate. even worse when im having period. which im not going into. tapi taknak la menopause. ooh and finally, my superbad skin breaks out as if tomorrow is the end of the world. they just have to get out. and see the world. konon-konon.

the point is, when both combined especially in the mid of exams week i finally understood why people became wristcutters. or pill popper.

i used to be this idealistic person. bila tengok movie ke cerita kat tv, kalau orang suicide aku mesti macam, 'hak enaaa. kot ye pon tak ade agama tapayah la dramatic sangat sampai nak terjun bangunan.'

now being the realistic person that i am, hopelessness really brings out the um... hopelessness? the why-cant-i-get-out-of-this-shit kinda feeling.

so there. another bitching bout ovaries and uterus. peace out.

this never gets old.

been wanting to vent for days but somehow i managed to do some other unworthy things which by now i cant even seem to remember.

aaanyhoo. ugh. weather. sucky. too cold. too windy. too wet. and i travel by bike. aku sudahlah begitu gigih memakai baju sejuk yang berbagai tapi somehow.. hmph. in vain. sejuk mencucuk kulit serupa macam bogel je. and there was this one time i had to desperately take a dump while cycling. the sejukness obviously doesnt help. bak kata this random person i met, 'taik dah nak berekor dah....'. and then once i got home, i went straight into the toilet and took a helluva crap. here's the thing about my toilet. its mutually exclusive from my shower therefore the water that i usually use came from the sink which by the way sape hentah invent sebab tade temperature control so its pretty damn cold. like cunt freeezing after berinstinjak kinda cold.

aanways back to my story of desperation of having to take a crap. went into that toilet. and ooooooo my. never have i experience feeling the warmth of that once-cunt-freezing water. boy if anyone would ask me what is the meaning pure bliss then i would say exactly say that. taking a crap in an insanely perfect comfort. how ironic is it to actually appreciate cold in cold? ok. kalau tak faham tak pe. my point is kesejukan diluar adalah sangat puaka sampai air sejuk toilet pon macam air panas. sudah.

the whole deal with exams is kinda tugging my emotions. macam pms sepanjang-panjang yang mungkin. demn la kenapa aku belaja kat sini. hmph.

this is a random shout out. arrested development : mayyjah! i remember i used to enjoy watching it on the tv but in all seriousness its like a masterpiece. hands down to the creator and writer. best thing. EVER. tidak seperti bende bodoh yang überhyped. macam heroes. and prison break. and one tree hill. even greys anatomy macam dah bodoh-bodoh. so i resort to good things. macam entourage. aquaaaahhh mannnn! ari gold btw has the best script. i wish i could talk like him. how the hell a normal could come up with something like that? his head must be like super fast.

ok. too much randomness. and words that shouldnt be used in front of your parents.


p/s : siapa ingat secreto de amor?? ahahah this song reminds me of a shirtless fabio-looking guy named carlos raul riding a horse. cracks me up everytime! gallop gallop *konon-konon penuh seksi*

updates. setelah berbulan entry entourage berkulat.

• emm exams : as usual ntah apa-apa. test bawak masuk toyol aku lepas la pulak.
  

• summer : malaysia. wuh. awesome times. finally got to feel the nite life i dun have around here(germany). no im not a clubbing perk(pls, lame ok). haha lama x lepak hartamas. celaka tikus besa macam mak kucing. mak kucing pon lari ketakutan. lepak smpai subuh br tau hartamas tade mesjid/surau. huh pegi segambut dalam ok. its like a whole mini jakarta down there.
  

• tioman : sori peeps lupa mau passing gamba. gamba underwater all over the place harhar. badan belang macam nini cokolat celup (celup celup!) <------ ok lawak rempit jap.

• blew my money on food, man. worth every penny.

• found out my archery skill wasnt too shabby.
  

• hah. fish spa. ridiculously ridiculous. spent 15 mins naik turun kaki masuk kolam. ikan x sempat mau gigit2.
  

• uuuuu karoke nite. awesomeness. oh how we sang soo shamelessly.

• the rest of the summer i spent on ermm gossiping(mcm x biasa), smirking on melayu peluk-peluk tengah alam mahupun dalam cinema, serta melepak depade time bukak posa sampai sahur. sekian.

didnt get to wakeboard(sebab rate untuk wakeboarding kt mines mahal haram), didnt get to wallclimb(sebab tak jumpa tempat kt OU), didnt get to bukak posa dengan glace except ena piya taki(who btw dominated the whole conversation time).

there. cant seem to think anything remotely worth reading.

p/s : i got a grandpa named Abe whos senile. haha. o well, i thought its pretty funny. not nice. but at least funny.

-despite überhype dramas, i still think entourage is the best.

-i miss glace.

-weather rimas, lalat rimas, badan rimas, otak rimas.






hati rimas.

sleepless weekend

no shit. had sleepless wiken.

NO MORE HEROES rocks my pants!!! it's like star wars meets bleach meets kill bill meets grand theft auto. (walopon aku denga grand theft auto lagi best).

aku duduk depan tv 12 jam tanpa menggerakkan bontot. semata nak habiskan game ni.

puas hati ok final match. aku tengah on fire ni. sape ade wii sile main. gerenti puas hati.

NO MORE HEROES Wii Trailer

sape kate x best meh sini debate dengan aku.

shitade out of shit.

aku sangat laaa benci cikgu yang caring. sem ni penuh dengan cikgu2 yang caring. oleh itu tak boleh ponteng kelas. sebab muka fofuler sangat kalau tak datang cikgu sebok-sebok tanya sakit apa. so anyways yesterday shaz didnt go to school since he needed to get his ankle checked up. nak dibuat cerita semalam kena pergi kelas cikgu caring;

intro (telah diterjemah)

cikgu caring : hello peeps. blablabla (insert ayat intro standard cikgu) oh hey..you guys are always in a group of three. what happened to the other one? (sambil menunjuk kepada dua budak paling hitam dalam kelas buahahahaa)
lizakodi : (sebab rasa paling hitam responsible terus menjawab) errm he's sick. (dengan penuh harapan dia tak tanya banyak)
cikgu caring : uuu is it serious? is he okay? what is he having?
lizakodi : (cis. kenapa kau harus extravaganza caring?) erm he got sprained ankle. (believe me explaining sprained ankle in german is no easy job. stuck kat explanation ni agak la beberapa minit).
cikgu caring : how come? soccer?
lizakodi hanya mengangguk.
cikgu caring : aaaaanways i heard there are people who didnt have the password to access my scripts. apparently the password hasnt been distributed properly.
random guy in class : but we all have it.
cikgu caring : well i'm talking for those ladies in the back. (tunjuk kitorang lagi)
lizakodi : (shit.)
random guy : oh well okay. i'll read it out loud. blabla (the password)
cikgu caring wrote it on the board then made sure we (aku elly) got it.
guy next to random guy : here (handing me a piece of paper) can you read it?
lizakodi : yea sure. (apprently he wrote the password down. again. padahal besa2 kat depan dah ade. aku adalah sudah penuh malu diberi perhatian sebegitu rupa)

end of intro.

intermission

dikala kepanasan dalam kelas betriebliches rechnungwesen adalah aku melayang-layang serta bermain mata dengan cikgu caring itu. rasa macam duduk dalam kelas sejarah kat sekolah dulu-dulu. atau pon mod maths. (bermain mata meaning my eyelids are just defeated against gravitational force). dengan tak semena-mena ;

cikgu caring : how are the foreign students going? am i going to fast? or are there something to you wanna ask?
lizakodi : (blurr siaaaal. die tengah cakap ngan aku ke? fuck la aku tengah pening lalat) emmm nein. ist okay.
cikgu caring : alles verstanden?
lizakodi : (masih blur) em ja.
cikgu caring : bestimmt?
lizakodi : (baru pasan kalau die tanya aku soklan kang kantoi sial tak paham. shit. tuka jawapan jap) errrr jain. heheh (sengih-sengih buat muka bodo jap)
cikgu caring : Ist ja bestimmt schwer für Sie alles gut zu verstehen. Arbeiten Sie auch mit den Deutschen?
lizakodi : nicht so.
cikgu caring : Wollten Sie mit den arbeiten?
lizakodi : (pandang elly jap. apsal aku je jawab wei. bekap laa)
elly buat tak layan sial.
lizakodi : es geht.
cikgu caring : Es ist besser, wenn Sie auch mit den anderen arbeiten. Sonst wird es schwer. (pastu sound budak kelas lain) Sie müssen um ihren ausländischen Komolitonen kümmern blablabla..
lizakodi : (exterior : senyum tak rela. interior : fucckkk fuckety fuccckk.)
cikgu caring : So bitte. Machen Sie das. (masih tak abes sound classmate sebab tak caring kat kitorang)
lizakodi : (batu belaaaahh batu bertangkooppppp. telan la akuu.. aku maluu orang lain kena babysittt akuuu!!)

end of intermission.

so basically the next day (iaitu hari ini), punya lah ramai rakan taulan bertegor sapa offer nak tolong kitorang kalau ada masalah. siap wat ayat dalam english. babi aku malu sial. bukan malu sebab orang ingat aku bodoh (sebab memang bongok pon), tapi malu sebab dah la anti-social, pastu orang lain kena blame pasal aku yang anti-social.

but hey. if life gives you shit, then make a shitade out of it. (sebab lemons jadik lemonade gettit?)

when shit hits the fan

after sitting in front of the computer doing the so-called research from 5pm till 12am i have come to a revelation that im a good observer but a very bad solver.

i mean, seriously. its not like i was watching anything. i sit while trying to comprehend these hydraulics sheenanigans (which im suppose to take next sem anyways not now) and in the end not getting any materials whatsoever for tomorrows dicush session.

what i know is hitler was highly impressed with muslim military. and he prolly is a quarter of jew. and siapa yang forward email kat aku kata hitler adalah suami yang setia is bullcrap because he was never married. and watersports apparently means something else. and syphillis can attack your brain. and the wasabi i've been eating is not even real wasabi (demmit).

but nooooo. i cant come up with anything for tomorrow. because i just dont have the ability to put pieces together.

and i just realized not to underestimate my peningness. i happen to talk crap during the whole episode of being lost in clouds of information.

lame-o.

stupid flanders. stupid flanders. stupid flanders.

emmm the only reason i write this is because cik sonik is a little wee bored looking at gang rape all this while. so there you go sonik.

randomness : spongebob in awe sounds exactly like homer in mengidamness. mr. burns ruless!!

aaaaanyhoo, this is how my head goes these days. random.

apart from kacau jiwa assignments, this is all i have for you guys ;

1) never bowl after veeting your legs. the ball will either go in the longkang or in a much worse case ermmm goes backwards. you might not see the relation now but heck, why dont you try it yourself?

2) never veet without enough cream. regardless how bululess you think you are.

i've been gang raped. with everything. mentally and emotionally. (nope not physically)

soo easy if i could just shut down and shun myself.

hmmmmmm but being me all i can do is absorb everything and put on a smile.

lala life sucks at this point.

this is soooooooooooooooo fucked up i got goosebumps all over.

kinky incest

my heart just sinks.

no matter how much i take my daily dosage of simpsons.

screwed. screwed. screwed.

on the contrary when everybody seems to be happy about spring. hate it. now. it rains. a lot. wet wet wet. and there's a bicycle involves.

blerrgghh.

my heart sinks.

malang tak berbau

even with an intimate relationship with my bicycle for a couple of years now i still manage to fall like an idiot. no wind no nothing i just fell.

shaz was there but apparently i didnt hear anyting. i dont get it though. cause if i was him i'll be laughing my ass off but i heard just.. nothing. only my name. either he's holding his laugh (which i dont think he does a very good job of) or 'god she has the worst reflexes ever. suck to be her.' going in his head. haha anyways glad elly wasnt there cause she wont be much of a help. bet i'll only hear hyenic laugh for the next 10 mins.

aaaaanyhoo my jeans didnt rip, much to my disappointment. coz then i'll have a cool jeans with real story hahah. the whole thing wasnt really bad actually. the thing is i have this 10cm long greenish blackish red bruise on my inner thigh. which doesnt add up at all since i landed on my knees. anyways its freakish looking i kinda like it. and i just realized everytime i pressed the thingy i smiled a little. pain is bliss. now it's official to say i'm a creep.

bak dialog di bawah;

kodi : they said i'm weird. lol
shaz : u? weird? why am i not surprised?
kodi : demn

Wien - Budapest - Prague

spent a week doing some exam stress venting.

WIEN / VIENNA
-typical German atmosphere.
-mecca for those who appreciate arts. i dont have the money to even step into a single museum so the whole thing in wien was pretty bleh.
-the receptionist of the hostel we stayed was pretty bleh as well. ummm reminds us a lot of our physic teacher, Frau Seul. ladies and gents, she by far, is the worst living nightmare i've encountered. being the physic teacher back in Köln Fachhochschule she often chased those who are late out. never let us go to the loo (who the hell can control their bladder?), and has the creepiest penetrating blue eyes ever. period. and bad breath. and the receptionist lady resembles her a lot. and by a lot i mean physically and mentally. scary berry.

BUDAPEST
-has on average good looking people.
-cute receptionist too.
-a lot of places to see.
-i know i've mentioned this but - good looking people. emm by people i mean guys. dont really have the time to check girls out. terlalu rambang mata. mungkin kalau bernasib baik dapat berkahwin dengan hungarian satu.

PRAGUE
-cheap.
-has this one great chinese restaurant near our hostel. best szechuan i've tasted so far!
-busuk people. drunk people. be careful or they might grab your ass. yelck!
-but overall an ok place to visit.

*******

-blew my budget on this trip
-a lot of people seemed to recognized we're malaysian so i guess kudos to europeans? although i do get a lot of stares here in germany. and occasionally get asked where i'm from or what kind of language we were speaking. hmm

oh. i've been tagged?

8 random facts

1. my true arch nemesises are clowns and worms.

even before It the Clown came out i was never comfortable being around those colorful hideously face-painted creatures. i dont know who came up with the idea of a full grown man with flappy shoes and freaky laugh, but boy, aint he insane. they're not even funny to begin with. and the fact that It the Clown eats children who fear clown doesnt help either. the movie haunts me for years. now i have goosebumps when there's clown nearby. even ronald mcdonald creeps me out. and as for worms - i scream even when its only on the tv. that bad.

2. i may look like this - but i'm actually a couple of pounds to being underweight.

3. this happens a lot recently. i sit. and do absolutely nothing. the room temp is low 20s (celcius). and all of a sudden - mucus meleleh. like its on a mission or something. it wont stop oozing for god knows how long. so i guess this has to count as a talent. or what?

4. i never fail to wear black. and pink is a faux pas.

thanks to It the Clown i used to be scared of colors. haha (zaman bodo) thinking colors might attrack It. emm now its just - hitam itu peryllis. heh. aaanyways black represents elegance. if not - then why would coco chanel invent 'the little black dress'. and its friggin epidemic! everyone has the little black dress (malu nak mengaku tapi aku pon ade haha). can you imagine 'the little pink dress'? ugh faux pas faux pas!! what a crime. i am - of course - already out of the phase in life where everything i own is black. i've evolved. but pink is still unforgiven. no matter how you put it.

5. i'm very into k-pop. (korean popculture for those who knows jack)

i could talk about it for hours. dan seperti melempar minyak kedalam api (betul ke? belasaahh laa) housemateku jua sebegini rupa. and honestly, if i saw anyone looking slightly asian i have this wishful thinking that they're korean. and i would quietely get closer to them trying to hear what they're saying. and if they're korean hahah i'll get all excited and do somewhat a personal listening test just to check my vocab pot. psychotic, i know. pathetic, maybe. but hey, now i can at least watch korean variety shows without sub and still understand. ooooooo how i wish i could do a homestay.

6. i am a magnet to weirdos.

still don't understand why but most guys who asked me out are weirdos. they're prolly just plain jack and i'm the one who compels the weirdness out of them. i don't know. they're weird. no details here.

7. i tend to forget crucial stuff. i've told this before. like, i know there's something i need to do. and i'm thinking real hard what. for a whole 5 minutes i would sit and think really hard. then i feel it - kene berak. sekarang!

8. people acting randomly. makes me. happy. macam jung min. of ss501. sexy devil.


im taggin:

crystal
k.lisa
k.mai
milo
chibi

the fuck with people blocking their blogs??

i do not want to be older. shit man in a month i'll be twenty bloody two. i hadnt done anything just yet. what about surfing? and skim boarding? and sky diving? and latin dance classes?

emmmm graduate? hah. lambat lagi kot.



beluuum beluuumm im not ready nak keluar teenage years (because technically im still 21). o wait my head just went blank. now i forgot what i initially wanted to write. so... ciao.

o shizzz. its getting pretty old with writers block.

this used to be my sanctuary!!!

i even wrote a poem (haha) about a witch (haha give and take a letter).

not only im inarticulate these past days, i cant even write.

what heppenggg? partly prolly cause there were too many silent readers (hey if not u who can i blame)

aaaaanyways paper hari cam..... fuck. (sila baca dengan nada expressionless) and then semua bende la aku nak langga kan. lepas habis cussing semua benda aku langga, tibak aku pegi masak. pegi masak. pegi masak? pegi masak yooo!!! macam sakai ok aku. tekanan perasaan pegi masak. how or more appropriate when did i became this lame? ugh.

yea one bitching coming up. peace out y'all.

bahagia betul duduk serumah dengan orang suka memasak ni.


hari ni aku dapat makan lemang dan rendang.


kat melesia pon tak macam ni.

Heath Ledgers dead. it breaks my heart. he's one of those people that i thought just plain talented. demn.

woh. personal discovery. rupanya iris mata orang berbeza-beza. iris aku bunga-bunga. tak caya?? heh





ok la mata aku dah kedut-kedut belum 22 tahun lagi. sebab selalu pull all-nighter (ceyywah). tapi sumpah tak pakai kontek lens sumpah tak edit. just guna kemere bangsa bapak je. dan lighting toilet. kalau tengok betul-betul boleh nampak shaz dalam anak mata aku. betapa authenticnya.

sesi perasan yang keji ini berhenti disini. ciao.

GAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

FUCKETY FUCKETY FUCK.




@ @
O






this is sad. cause i've got nowhere but to vent it here.