ok cover baru. ini namanya tade keje carik keje.

sebab exam nak dekat so baru sekarang terhegeh nak buat relationship dengan gita.

banyak flaw. ini yang kite cari, yah.

i love randomness. i dont and i cant believe that the brain works thematically. hmm at least not mine. and you know whos the best at randomness? communitychannel. i SWEAR i never layan vloggers on youtube. because that would make me very.. umm.. like, a weird internet freak who never goes out and socialize? emm come to think of it, aku kurang sikit dosa kurang cakap kurang kutuk lebih jaga mata. hahaHAHAHAHAhahaha. what a load of wank. but yes. i do watch communitychannel.

i dont wear my glasses all the time, thus the often sight probs and relying-on-friends-tell-me-what-the-hell-it-says thingy. amazingly enough, i can spot acceptable mediocre to very hot but ko-ol looking opposite sex anytime of the day. which makes my closest people wonder. i dont know. its THE radar, mannn. i have no control over it. oh yea, i have very good gaydar too. except for this one time, i went into starbucks the other day and was so highlariously in a good mood the moment i stepped in. i turned my head everywhere and asked myself, where do these beauuutiful people coming from?? and 3 mins later this friend of mine told me - theres a pride parade going on out there. demmit. she has to just open her mouth and say it. i guess my gaydar isnt that great after all.

bottomline. randomness is radical.

and is it THAT weird if i say i really want to take up latin dance class? like, seriously. i didnt think so. i told a few memss and they were, like, 'uh? emmmm yea. whatever you like.' uhuh. they gave me the cold shoulder. its all about passion, y'all. anyhoo, we saw this part where a couple was dancing to salsa or sth in a music vid, its fastball-the way methinks. there were these sharp moments where the guy pulled the girl to his chest and suddenly, in the middle of the night, this guy friend of mine said, 'i want to know how to dance this.'

and. i. was. literally. gagging.


in my head i was, like, the eff?? it has never occur to me that a malay guy would say something like that. not from anyone that i know. or at least not from him. not from anyone decent lah konklusi. bukan la aku tak decent tapi aku perempuan, so lain la. kot? tapi the question that he made - which has been in my mind for a couple of years now - 'macam mana kalau spouses kite tak nak? susah la, aku kena cari wife yang nak buat jugak. macam ko gak ah, kena carik husband yang into benda ni.' hahahaHAHAHAH macam jahanam kan soalan?? hmm i know. and thats why i came up with a solution - if my husband wont do this, i'll get me some gay hunk. spanish preferably. haaa fair and square. eh tapi nyah aku tak mauu.. nanti siapa susah? akaaaaaaaakk jugakk nyahh!

sudaaaaaaaaaaahh. hentikan pemikiran sia-sia iniiii


o well at least i dont write some bimbo crap about me shopping or what a great day i had taking kawaii pictures or god knows what else bimbos - or bimboes? - write.


lala mahuuu esketinnnnnnn.


this is too random, even for me.

out of words. this is plain randomness.

yea kemere waterproofku belum di try test lagi dalam air. selain air sirap raya. dalam periuk nasik.

the fuck was i doinnnn??

so shaz wanted to aplod the pic to his frenster based on the reason he was never in the pictures. and i said hell nooooo. siapakah kuang haja hangkat gamba candid aku tengah bersakaiii??

and he said he'll aplod the so-called liza-dicrop. yang ropanya lagi macam keji.






walau apa pon, tidakkah anda perasan bahawasanya walaupon muka mereka masing-masing nampak tenang, dan muka aku extrabeganza expressionnya, tapi gamba aku yang paling clear. hahahahahahahaha apa tandanya tu??

started the day with not a very good mood.

so decided to sing a song. that i've never been able to tarik. and play. plus i got hingus. so it makes it even better.

at least i laughed. enjoy hehe






kesian tak? aku demam woii.

o demmit.

know how homer's head full of donuts, and bacon, and beer, and cream pie and.. o well ya get what i mean. hmmm... creaaaaammm pieeee..*drool~* (you don't know simpson if you don't get this)

anyways. now my head's full of guns and roses. cis.

this is priceless. if you've seen most of wentworth's interview, then you know he's a boring blob. but in this one, ya ampuuuun.. he seems happier. ahaahahaha bless the korean.

p/s: saranghaeyo~~ part is too much to handle. too much i tell you. uppaaa!!

the intial intention of me hitting these keyboard keys is to primarily bitch. about everything. but know what? screw that.

wow im happier these days. last winter i was seriously depressed i was even thinking of taking prozac ke apa ntah. for real. now, i barely swear. except masa main wii. sebab kadang-kadang remote die macam jahanam. aku dah penat buat aksi menumbuk, mii tu dok bediri macam tiang. cis. mungkin sebab aku semangat extravaganza.

aaaanyyhoooo.. this upcoming christmas hols is nerrrrrve wrecking. not about seeing glaces. which i know its gonna be a blast. but hmm. hmmmmmmm. hmm how do i put this into words?

gotta 'fess up. he wanted to see me. wow i know this is new to some. hmmmm. so. gotta shave some pounds. gotta look good. ya know, to show i've moved on? not that i havent. yish habis la. aku dah jadi perempuan habis. buduh ke tidak ni??

i thought i've moved on. i'm waaay much happier if compared to those days. but. the second he told me that we've gotta do some catching up, we should berkofi-kofi, my heart didnt just skip a beat. it was going 100 beats per min i swear i thought i was having a heart attack.

now. what dya say bout that? sheesh. this is just pathetic. i should get over this.




tell me tell me t-t-t-t tell me.

got this from kevjumba. yuck. seriesli.


-------> YOU MUST READ THIS <-------

i loiike this one.

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight minis skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it, just come up and get me."

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story : always keep your condoms in your car.

yesshhh gamba raya cantik baru dapat! computer crashed, ni notebuk orang so cant edit gamba. this is the best i can do. click here for the rest

gosh. i know i know. ive never intended to talk about politics in here but this is insanely ridiculous. i can watch this every day and laugh my ass off without fail.


this is our MINISTER OF INFORMATION trying to dodge bullets during an interview with Al-Jazeera. a must watch. i dont take sides, but his answers... Allah.. macam bergaduh dengan membe kat tepi longkang. baik aku je jadik menteri. lebih matang dan diplomatik. i hope people wouldnt think that this is malaysian's standard of english and maturity.




in case you guys cant catch up what hes talking about; (credits thecicak.com)

ZAM: ….I commend your journalists trying to project, to exaggerate more than what actually happened. That, that, that, that’s it. We, we are not, the, the — and I, I congratulate your journalists behaving like an actor, that, that’s —

AJ: As you say that, sir, we’re watching scenes of protesters being sprayed by chemical-filled water …

ZAM (interrupts): Ya, I am watching, I hear, [?] …. trying to do it everywhere but in Malaysia people are allowed, to, you know [?] … Police have allowed the procession to go to the Istana Negara, you know, do police, first police, like, they handle them, they [?] them, they … the police don’t, don’t, don’t fire anybody …

AJ: Our correspondent came back to the office, sir, with chemicals in his eyes!

ZAM (speaking over her): … You, you, you, you are here with the idea, you are trying to project, what is your mind, you think that we are Pakistan, we are Burma, we are Myanmar, everything you, you are thinking …

AJ: Well unfortunately when you refuse to let people protest, it does appear so.

ZAM (speaking over her): …Ya, ya, we are not like you, you have early perception, you come here, you want to project us like undemocratic country. This a democratic country!

AJ: So why can’t people protest then, if it’s a democratic country?

ZAM (interjects at “protest then”): Ya, people protest, people then — first they protest, we are allowing protests, and they have demonstrated. But we just trying to disperse them and then later they, you know, disperse, but later our police compromise. They have compromised and allowed them to proceed to Negara. Police, our police have succeeded in handling them gently, right? Why do you report that and you take the opposition, someone from opposition party you ask him to speak, you don’t take from the government, right?

AJ: Why did you not break up these protesters –

ZAM (interrupting): Pardon? Pardon? Pardon?

AJ: Why did you not break up these protests more peacefully?

ZAM: I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.

AJ: Why did you not break up these protests more peacefully?

ZAM: No we, we are, we, this protest is illegal. We don’t want, this, the, normally … (slight pause, then continues to talk while she interjects)

AJ (interjecting): OK, so let me return to my former question. Why is this protest illegal?

ZAM (babbling on): Ya it’s illegal protest because (AJ: Why?) we have the election in Malaysia. It’s no, no point on having the protest, we are allowing to have every, an election every five years, never fail. We not our like, are not like Myanmar, not like other country. And, and you are helping this. You Al-Jazeera also is helping this, this forces, the, you know, these forces who are not [?], who don’t believe in [?] …

AJ (seems to want to say something, but decides not to): I don’t … many thanks for joining us.

ZAM: I don’t, ya, you, Jazeera, this is, is Al-Jazeera attitude. Right?

(she doesn’t reply <--- tension la tu. In the background, the chants of the protesters fill the silence)





ps: Zainuddin Maidin ; Beliau memperoleh diploma dalam kewartawanan dari Institut Kewartawanan Berlin pada 1969. <----- ahahahahahaha! alamak! nanti aku pon jadik macam ni ke?? tidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakk!

eh. cam biskut.

dah ada awan balik. hii..





bila komputer aku nak idup balik neeeehhh?? emo saiko2 la niii.



since when main boling n pool bulih sengal kaki a? sapa leh tolong jawab?

aa syit.

theyve deleted the images.

image header yg comel2 atas awan.

cis.




tell me tell me t-t-t-t-t-t tell me. randomness.

Rock n Roll

ihi. gedik je aku. sbb aku keco kat glace kan aku cam nari2, ari ni aku aplod vid nari masa GDO aka Girls Day Out Germany.

as an encore performance terabur babur gak tapi alaaaaa enjoy jela kan?



Online Videos by Veoh.com

oooooooooooo everything about this song is addictive. the lyrics. the dance routine. ESP the dance routine. agh even the expressions!



Online Videos by Veoh.com



and apparently it isnt me alone. its the rest of the world:

wuuuu. worst nightmare. vaio sayangku crashed.

demmit.

but ironically i'm twisting n shoutin.


rock n roll, y'all!!!!

Memandangkan saya raya esok, ingin saya mengucapkan

SELAMAT HARI RAYA
Maaf Zahir dan Batin

Semoga Syawal 1428 ini membawa kegembiraan

p/s : ceyy ayat x le bla.

ok guess what? we're finally having english class this sem. and i thought - oh ok. this is soo my forte. since summer, i had come to realize that my english is currently very umm unfeasible (?), if thats the right way of saying it. in short - memalukan.

so i thought - oh well, we're finally taking english and maybe, just maybe i can write/talk about something substancial. but my first english class , o dear lord forgive me for this ;


VERB : to add up
NOUN : addition
SIGN/SYMBOL : +(plus)
EXAMPLE : 5 + 3 = 8
EVERYDAY USE : 5 and 3 is 8



to add up?? TO ADD UP?? ADDITION??? the fuuuckk is this????






kebas otak ke tidak?? you tell me.

ok seriously after being a frigging blogging-sloth for a long time, the momentum just doesnt seem to kick in.

interesting enough, the thing that actually makes me start to write again - oh well, sebab aku mahu puji diri sendiri. sebab nak bagitahu satu dunia, aku buat murtabak sendiri!! kahkah. tak main la segera-segera ni (*kenyit mata kepada intan).

after going through one week ramadhan in malaysia and then coming back here to continue the rest of the holy month - wow - baru rasa macam bersyukur gila duduk malaysia. hari-hari pergi bazaar pon tak apa. walaupun jam sial kat sec14 tu. semata-mata kerana gua nak murtabak. i never knew myself that im such a big fan of it till then.

lepas tu the day we arrived here, berbuka dengan seronding dan telur goreng (because there were nothing else in the fridge. kalau ada pun aku macam was-was nak makan. 2 bulan yo.. macam-macam aktiviti bulih berlaku. termasuk aktiviti pemandirian species kulat dan cendawan). konklusi hari pertama buka puasa di bocholt : sedih sebab makanan gila tak best.

even after 3 weeks the desire to gob murtabak never seemed to cease. thus the effort to finally materialize the craving. dan hasil;

jeng jeng!

PUAS HATI OKAYYY!

walaupun bentuk tak sekata, aku dah tak heran sama murtabak bazaar ramadhan! (cey.. sebnanya nak kata murtabak aku sama taraf dengan yang kat kedai - just in case korang tak reti nak interpret).

konklusi entry kali ini : nak muntah tak baca entry puji diri sendiri ini? jangan muntaaaaah, nanti batal posa. lalala.

lagu ini jahat. kenapa sepanjang-panjang masa lain dia tak mahu main dalam kepala tapi masa tengah jawab paper dia nak kelua? ha? sapa nak jawab ni?


Online Videos by Veoh.com

Lee Seung Gi - Because You're My Woman

wuhuu!! (ala homer dan bart)


gamba melepak dan gath telah selesa di muatnaik. sekian.


sila klik ---------> potopeges saya

sebab fp weng dua tiga hari ni aku aplod la skit2 kat sini. heh.

aku masuk lelain later. btw kemere piya gamba lagi best.

UPDATES !!

trip ke Penang --------> sila klik

eff this cause this sucks.

wuuuu saya rindu glace. mahu ke zaman muda-mudi dahulu.. they put the GLAD in GLADIATORS.


tapi tak mahu ada YM. sebab dia saiko. lala.

ugh. my skin just doesnt do me any justice!!

i fuuuucking hate itttt!!!

and my stubby little fingers too.

i just think its not fair at all for people who have long fingers but they dont appreciate them by not doing anything. not doing anything, i mean, not manipulating the great length of the fingers to optimum usage.

seriously. macam tak aci gila orang jari panjang-panjang hanya pergi buat manicure ja. who the hell cares how your fingers look like?? well, yea okay. people care. but even worse, people who never did manicure. ambik jari aku aja laaa.

it kills me because everytime i played the piano i have to play the keys extra fast (sebab stubby tak boleh reach one whole octave). and i cant play power chords on guitars (sebab jari cam cacat tak boleh nak stay still for the posture). etc etc. cant think of any anymore but those kept me crazy alright.

if i could go under the knife to mend my fingers, i prolly would. i kid, i kid, i wont. oh wait. but would i?? hmm.

so anyways this is prolly the hormone talking. or the rashes on my face talking. its driving me up the wall, like, sheeeeesssssssshhhhhhhh!! my face is oily one day and on the other it would just dry up and peel off. and for the love of god, stop hurting me! it hurts like a burning devil. so every 2 hours i would grunt like a grizzly bear and then rub my face all over like a cat cleaning his face and then as a finale - i holler. like a distressed maniac. which i am.

lala. and im having mechanic exam in less than 48 hours. icing of the cake.

sudah bertahun-tahun saya suka lagu ini.

Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana
Artist: Smap

There's no need to be No. 1
you've always been a very special only one.

I saw many kinds of flowers lined up in front of the flowershop.
everyone has their favorite kinds but all of them are pretty.
Without competing to see which was the best among them,
they were standing straight up proudly inside the bucket.
So why then do we humans have to compare ourselves to one another?
Eventhough each and every person is different,
why do we want to be number one?
Yes we are each..

a flower unlike any other in the world
and each and everyone of us carries a different seed
We should focus all our efforts on trying to make that flower bloom.

There are people who are constantly unsure of what they want,
as they laugh a little put out.
It can't be helped, all those flowers,
that did everything they could to bloom, are pretty.
when at last that person comes out of the store,
they're holding a colorful bouquet
and I see them smiling happilly as they go by me.
I never knew their name but
that day they made me smile.

we too are like flowers that bloom in places where no one pays any attention.
Yes we too are each...

a flower unlike any other in the world
and each and everyone of us carries a different seed
We should focus all our efforts on trying to make that flower bloom.

Small flowers and big flowers, none are the same as one another.
There's no need to be No. 1
you've always been a very special only one.

aw man.

ingatkan tengok balik back to the future trilogy would stink. because i hate the 80s. tapi masa dulu kan filem tu macam meletop.

oh but wow. masih meletop-letop. hehe.


i loiike!

pernahkah anda mempunyai barang yang anda dapat/jumpa/secara kebetulan berada di dalam pencil box anda semasa waktu sekolah dahulu? iyah saya ada. hehe.

sebatang pencil mekanikal berwarna hijau. saya pon tak pasti macam mana pencil itu bulih menjadi kepunyaan saya. mungkin saya pinjam daripada rakan saya dan terlupa untuk pulangkan. mungkin ada orang yang terjumpa pensel itu dan mencampaknya kedalam pencl box saya yang besar dan menyerupai beg mekap itu. atau mungkin kerana meja saya selalu sangat bersepah dan semua sampah masuk dalam beg saya (yang berwarna putih-lama-lama-jadi-kelabu itu).

aaah walau atas apa-apa sebab pon, pensel itu telah menjadi barang kegemaran saya. saya rasa saya akan teramat sangat sedih sekali sekiranya saya hilangkan pensel itu. walaupun saya tidak pernah tahu brand apakah pensel itu - sebab batang brand pensel itu telah patah sejak pertama kali saya terpandang ia. nasib baik saya memegang pensel tersebut semasa beg saya dicuri di KBU. (walaupun saya pecah hati jugak kerana graphic kalkeleter TEXAS saya hilang lesap tanpa bayang).

apa yang saya cuba ketengahkan ialah - takkan hilang SSP selama saya bersama pensel itu. dan barang free memang saya simpan elok-elok. heheh.

kerana niki nak denga schnappi, aku letak schnappi balik. hahah cam mtv demand lak.

------------------

aaaanyways.

my life recently has been so disgusting. ugh. disgusting even i cant stand it.

not on anybody's account but solely mine.

sloth, people, is one of the deadliest sin. ooooooo suweet suuweeet sin. but deadly. and disgusting. and if sloth is something solid that stick on me, i'd just scrap my back till i bleed. unfortunately, procrastination is, i personally believe, another deadly sin. so, ya see, to even scrap the sloth, i'd procrastinate.

hmph. self-loathing is pathetic. i'm disgusting.

schnee schnaa schnappi.. schnappi schnappi schnapp!!

fuckety fuckety fuck.

guess what?

its never a good idea to sleep back after pulling an all-nighter and hope that you'll wake up in an hour time. its like going against the natural law. youre gonna be black-out prone.

so my plan was to wake up at 7 and leave for class at 730. guess what? i woke up at 846. elly mustve been screaming to drag me out of bed. i. just. couldnt. hear. her. so i slept back, thinking - oh tak apalah. i just missed the class. ill go for the labs.

but guess what?? i woke up 15 min before lab starts.

the fuck??? my brain swirled like a tornado, causing my muscles to act the same. i hadnt printed out my lab report thats due today. but i panicked too much to control what im doing.

so i called and called and called elly. tough luck, coverage's really bad at school. so now she pretty much doesnt know whats going on, im missing for lab.

called shaz. he said - oh tak apa la. kalo ko kena buat lab later, aku tak pergi jugak hari ni. kite buat later a. bless his soul. not that i mind doing it alone. alah sempoi je pon.

so now, i guess elly mustve been cursing us for not coming and giving her a heads up, putting her in the spotlight - an uncomfortable one, i might add. (because 1) she'll be question prone during lab and 2)people will ask questions of our absence - and she knows jack.)

oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

i hadnt slept.

and i got class at 8. (cewah pergi kelas)

but i still am gonna sleep.




so help me God to drag my ass off bed.

aku mengaku. aku suka lagu ska.

tahu mana aku pertama kalinya dengar pasal ska? PKN. oleh mat-mat rempit semodul dengan aku. walaupun aku seratus peratus tidak menyokong aktiviti malam mereka, aku terpaksa mengaku. taste muzik mereka boleh digunapakai. lawak mereka juga boleh digunapakai. walaupun memang tidak hilang unsur-unsur kerempitan, tetapi sekurang-kurangnya mereka tidak menyelitkan lawak-lawak apek/senario (yang aku langsung tidak paham).

apa-apa pun, lagu ska sedap. tidak sesemak lagu hiphop. yang merimaskan. apabila mendengar lagu ska aku merasakan seperti berada di tepi pantai. yelah, ala-ala reggae/surf music.

menyentuh subject surfing, semalam aku bermimpi bahwasanya bapak aku menjadi seorang surfer. heh. cool jugak.

but you know what they say about surfers. they're beach bums. and that's never a good thing.

apa-apa la. aku bebal elektrik+elektronik. (<-- tak berkaitan langsung).

call me slow.

but i absolutely had no idea that malaysia now ban pan-asians from advertisements.

wow. so now maya karin isnt gonna be in any ad anytime soon, huh? yela tuuuu.

anyways thats not any of my concerns at all. the thing about ads in malaysia that i personally find irritating is, the shenanigans they uttered although in bm but oh so rich of accent.

i. absolutely. find. it. appalling.

hanya dolly can pull it off. because she got the personality. and the velvety tone.

bukan the high frequency that you usually hear during maxis/clean n clear/apa-apa ad berkenaan dengan teenagers. the squeaking high pitch with a splash of gedikness (ala-ala nora danish) chichied with fake accent. mengada.

and thats how young people (who thought they somewhat belong to the upper class of the society) now in malaysia speak.

muse me some more.

ach. pressure, ohne Scheiß.

i am officially a terry pratchett/neil gaiman fan. reading all their books - it is worth every second.






aku dah try betulkan page ni. however i cant seem to see what the problem is. apa-apa sila infrom aku yah?

oh the horror.

today was the first time i was asked to explain a proses in class. oh the horror.

of all the questions, why ask me about x-ray, huh? kenapaaa?? i could explain magnetpulver verfahren, i could explain dye-check verfahren oh so fluently. even eddy current. the fuck with x-ray??

i started with a smile. then i had the nerve to ask the prof if i could explain things in english.

hahah. oh the catastrophic incident.

i ended up speaking in deutschlish. macam manglish. english kejap deutsch kejap.

lanch betul ah. after the whole nightmare i exhaled. oh so loudly. mustve been a good entertaintment for them all.

aku malu okayy? what a boost of self-esteem.

harharhar. aku macam high. tak betul sekejap.

know why? i stumbled upon this acapella trio, and thought they were somewhat of latino heredity, because of the crazy eyebrows. then i saw -->THIS<--

eh? macam ternganga kejap. bahasa melayu?? lagu 'madu dan racun' pulak tu? tapi, hensem gila. but then, i dont know. shaz ngan elly macam suka kutuk taste aku. (cuba pikir, kalau tak ada orang taste macam aku kan, siapa nak suka orang yang tak ada classic good looks?? jawab sapa nak jawaaab?) anyways, sekali pandang macam straight, dua kali macam gay. i dont know, they could pass either way, i guess.

so, aku tunjuk elly. harhar. dia naik sheikh jugak, masuk mode stalker. you do not wanna know what we effin did. lame-o.

itu aja. daily dosage of good looking people. in this case. half french half bali.

just wanted to spread the love. or my infatuation.

Ocean Ridge.




this is unbearable.

unfuckingbelieveable!! i stumbled upon this website call cookingforengineers.com.

harhar. apparently its for those with analytical minds.

seriously, its even better than a lab manual.


anyone who uses the site as reference that manages to mess up while experimenting, i tell you - he's a loser. sia-sia ja hidup.

sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga. kemudian dicurah pula air basuh ikan pada hari bersalji.

iyah begitulah perasaan saya.

this is by far the most challenging sem. like, ever.

i expect something good coming out of this. really.

thank god i enjoy classes. or maybe classmates. heheh.






p/s: semua mogok blogging ke? saya jua begitu.

selepas selesai memasak nasi lemak hari ini, baruku sadari,



aku tak hebat kopek telur ropanya. maka dengan otomatiknya, peribahasa gebu seperti telur tidak boleh digunakan, sebab ropa telur rebus aku maha dasyat daripada kawah bulan.

sekian dahulu.

how come when it comes to technical terminology, wikipidea english version macam sampah ja if compared to deustch?? hah? jawab sapa nak jawab nii??

sampah betul sampai aku kena bukak dua tiga web nak cari satu meaning.

SAMPAH.

cycling and health

Cycling is good for your heart and health

Everyday cycling, where the exercise leaves you breathing heavily but not being out of breath, is an effective and enjoyable form of aerobic exercise. This is the type of exercise that is most effective at promoting good health. For example, cycling reduces the risk of serious conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity and the most common form of diabetes.

One rough calculation suggests that new cyclists covering short distances can reduce their risk of death (mainly due to the reduction of heart disease) by as much as 22 per cent.

-no way! i cycle more than 40 mins a day. 4 times a week. and the fact that i automatically inherite all deseases mentioned above now i think my whole family needs to cycle from now on.

Cycling will help with weight management

Cycling can be part of a programme to lose weight because it burns the energy supplied by a chocolate bar or a couple of alcoholic drinks in an hour (about 300 calories). A 15-minute bike ride to and from work five times a week burns off the equivalent of 11 pounds of fat in a year. That kind of cycling pattern also meets the Government's latest target on exercise: that we should take part in some mild to moderate physical activity that leaves us out of breath for at least 30 minutes five times a week.

-em cant verify this much.

Cycling can improve your mood

Cycling can have positive effects on how we feel too. Moderate exercise has been found to reduce levels of depression and stress, improve mood and raise self-esteem, and has also been found to relieve symptoms of premenstrual syndrome.

-i prefer to believe that my mood depends on who i see in class every day. jeje *insert expression getis*

AND I MADE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE BY BEING ENVIRONMENT-FRIENDLY.

facts cited from here

i finally understood the pleasure of going to class.

ya know, i've never noticed how good looking my classmates are. all these while kan, these people have been wearing knitwear which prolly their mother made. ngeheh.

so sekarang kan everybody's starting to show off some skin. siap seluar pendek bunga-bunga hawaii.

ahah oh i loiiike!! and they started to look like they shower in the morns.

fuh pendek kata - semmmat ah.

so hari ni kan, sepanjang hari aku dan elly good mood nak mati sebab satu hari ni usha classmates kami. mamat yang selama ni tak pernah masuk list comel pon dah makin semmat. uish teruja ok. nothings new to shaz ahah gay ah kalo ko usha laki jugak. so shaz rasa hari ni seksa gila sebab kelas menggelupur buhsan.

aku suka spring n_______n

6 things about me

instead of 6 weird things, i decided 6 things about me that makes me authentic is even more appropriated. hari ni baru ada mood mahu taip.

1. benci uberhyped stuff. no offence to the whole world - but seriously, friendster, rock the world gigs, akademi fantasia dan yang seketurunan dengannya macam 'lame' nak mampos. bukan aku nak meluahkan perasaan yang berbaur keji ini, tapi sesungguhnya wahai rakyat malaysia, marilah kita beramai-ramai menaikkan taraf citarasa masing-masing. aku nak mengutuk bukannya aku tak tengok AF tu, aku tengok. tapi setiap persembahan aku tak tahan lebih daripada 3 minit. PITCHY siaaaalllllll!!! bukannya aku nak cakap suara aku ni sedap sangat, tapi sebab aku tahu suara aku tak sedap aku tak pegi menyanyi. walaupun dengan ilmu muzik aku yang berperingkat amatur ini, aku masih bulih menilai dengan KONFIDEN betapa flat atau sharp atau instable atau bervibrato hampasssssss suara peserta-peserta yang tidak berbakat tersebut. lawak aznil pon lame. sorry again to the whole world.

2. boleh duduk depan komputer berjam-jam. bak pandangan wallpaper aku ;



3. obsesi aku terhadap sesuatu benda/orang tidak dapat dipadamkan dengan mudahnya. mahupon begitu aku hangat-hangat tahi ayam sekiranya wujud suatu azam yang baru.

4. aku merasakan sesuatu yang berbaur euforia sekiranya aku mempunyai luka luaran. ala-ala masochism.

5. find talented/genius but psychotic people extremely fascinating. contoh;

• Tyler Durden - founder of Fight Club
• Jean-Baptiste Grenouille - murderer/perfume genius
• Miss Darling - psychotic mum, who loves her son- Loverboy - oh so much
• Hannibal Lecter - need i say much?
• Mr. Ripley - too commercial to explain..

dan lain-lain yang sebangsa dengannya.

6. empathetic and hypocrite at the same time. sebab kadang-kadang aku kesian kat peminta sedekah, tapi aku paling muka ke arah lain, dan tidak memberi sedekah. dan itu membuatkan aku seorang yang sangat hipokrit.

aaaahh.

mahu mencuba nafas baru.

tapi hasil masih macam dodol hangus.

page ini kelam kabut.

time walked away. and left me here.

i dont get why people tend to get so extremely ntah apa-apa dalam blog. macam living a lie.

come on la.

you know, i tend not to judge people through blogs. because the fact that most people will write something that they thought people wont even want to hear about. petty things. macam aku la. sapa nak denga yang aku selalu rasa macam constipated bila aku tak cukup tido? or me bitching over my stupid taya pancit? kan? so tak payah nak pura-pura as if everything is ok. as if you never undergo anger.

please la. i mean, shit happens. i know and i accept the fact that shit happens. but that doesnt mean i dont experience anger. once in a while. emmm all the while. apa-apa la. asal aku menerima qada dan qadar.

oh aku sebenarnya tak ada masalah dengan orang sebegini. sebab mereka tidak mencampakkan permasalahan mereka terhadap aku, but my point is - be real.

oh aku sebenarnya menggelupur kebosanan tihihi sebab itu cari masalah.

lala. peace out.

p/s : whoa that youtube chic Esmee Denters already made it big, huh? sakit perut jugak aku denga dia menyanyi. kalau aku try menyanyi macam dia aku terus cirit kot.

you knew it when you have red blotch in your eyes.

you knew it when things around you relvove but you cant seem to notice.

you knew it when you took all the crap you can but you still feel constipated.

you knew it when the person next to you is talking non stop and you cant seem to give any appropriate respond.

welcome to living the life like a zombie.





aaaghh aku tak cukup tido aaaa!!

growing up, we used to listened to people saying we should have our priorities straight. or else we'll be cooking the recipe of unsatisfying life. or so they said.

but seriously, aside from God, who are we to say what is more important than the other?
because honestly, even if we believed whole-heartedly that we chose something important over the other, the worrying doesnt stop there. it never does.

its almost impossible to progress with one step at a time. that would just mean you're neglecting everything else just to focus on one thing. but to juggle every ball that are been thrown to you along the way seemed illogical as well.

so... why prioritise? why plan? life could just throw you completely off plan when you expect it the least. but can we actually survive just with going with the flow?

hmm and to think that you knew. life is sooo underrated.

huii aku betul-betul tak paham tau. apsal kan, bila aku sungguh bersemangat waja nak ke kelas, ada ja halangan menanti.

meh aku bitau dengan banggonya. last week kan, attendance aku pergi kelas betul-betul full. tak ada satu kelas pon aku tuang. lepas tu aku ingat nak pergi la joli kat amsterdam kejap. ala stay sana dua tiga jam ja. semata-mata nak makan seafood fresh murah. tapi sebab asyik berkejar-kejar serta berjalan-jalan dengan banyak sekali di muenster akan kerana persediaan bbq, maka otot betis aku rasa macam nak putus macam getah expired. balik-balik depade muenster, sekali aku tengok tayar belakang beskal aku kempis. wuiii, dah la aku rasa nak muntah dok dalam bas nak dekat 3 jam, otot kaki aku rasa cam nak putus, naik beskal pulak kena slow mo. kalo letak keta lembu sebelah aku, konpem aku kalah.

aku ingat pergi pam tayar kat kedai minyak kira setel ah masalah. memang setel pon. hari tu je la. esoknya hari senin aku nak pi kelas aku tengok die kempis balik. selow mo lagi aku bawak beskal pegi. singgah kedai minyak lagik. dia takmo naik. abis aku bawak la seiring dan sejalan beskal aku tu sejauh 5 km dengan perasaan sakit hati dan sakit kaki. nak bawak pergi kedai tak bulih aku dah lambat. dalam hati aku kata, 'wokey lized, sodh ba ro. saje je ni, test, nak pi kelas, dugaan macam gini, dapat pahala banyak wo.'

dah la masa dalam kelas aku lost gila. aphal la cikgu ni cakap cepat gila. macam syok sendiri. menyampah aku. satu verb pon aku takle nak tangkap. tibak datang period pain lagi aku menyampah. sakit perut ada, sakit pinggang ada, nak muntah pon ada.

kelua je kelas aku pandang tayar beskal huii rasa cam nak campak ja masuk belukar. tapi sebab berat. dan aku sakit perut, sakit pinggang, dan sakit kaki. dan lapa. so aku seiring sejalan dengan beskal pujaan hati aku itu. singgah la lagi kedai minyak cuba nasib mana tau kot-kot dia mau naik. sebab bocholt ni kecik aku saspek semua kedai minyak utama telah aku singgahi semata-mata sebab taya bodo satu tu. dia takmo jugak naik. maka aku berjalan lagi 2 km ke innercity aka pekan dengan periet pain dan otot sengal. kat mulut aku 'sodh ba ro. sodh ba ro'. dalam hati, 'celaka kau tayar. yish fuckety fuckety fuck!'

sampai kat kedai kan, orang tu kata warranty aku tak bulih nak selamatkan tayar. so aku kena baya nak dekat 30 euro. semata-mata taya pecah tu?? aku angguk je la. malas nak layan. bila aku bulih dapat balik beskal mengada-ngada tu? dia kata hari kamis.

hah?? habis aku nak naik apa pergi kelas ni? (cewah. dengan penuh berkobar-kobar aku mahu pergi kelas)

jawapannya.. aku mesti bangun pukul 5.30 pagi mandi sebab housemate aku ada policy kena bangun 1 hour and a half before klua rumah. so kalo klua rumah 7.30 dia bangun pukul 6. aku slalu bangun pukul 6.30 tapi sebab transportation malfunction maka aku kena setel mandi before dia mandi. sebab bas aku naik pukul 6.58am. mana sempat kalo bgn pukul 6.30. bukan tu aja, setakat jauh 5 km tu pon aku kena tuka-tuka bas. itulah bodonya public trenspot kat bocholt ni.

maka aku pon tak pergi kelas pagi tadi, sebab aku malas betul nak layan ujian ini. keh keh.

tapi dengan semangatnya aku dah siap-siap sapu choc spread kat roti so esok aku bulih telan ja. oh syit betul dah pukul 10.45pm. dah kang esok aku tak bangun.

NEED. TO. FIND. A. WALKING. SOLACE. PRONTO!

i used to think that self-improvement is self-masturbation. brings nothing but arrogance. but i guess i kinda figured it was actually a lame excuse for my own shortcomings.

because i have no sense of competition at all. for i dont care if people around me are progressing, becoming a better person as a whole. that has no effect on me whatsoever. unless if i wanted something for myself, then i'll start scraping my way out.

but the thing is, im already in the state of cryptobiosis. and im complacent with where i am. until recently.

so i guess life has shown me the reflection of complacency that i have brought upon myself. not thrilling, in general. and in a way, reflects arrogance as well.

and then i learn, from the people that i have so much respect for, over and over again, that they have never in their life being under the spell of self-approbation. some might even call it greed. well whatever they need to say to themselves to help them to sleep at night.

now i'm game.

so i watched kate moennig making out with ian somerhalder.

tak tahu kenapa..

hati aku yang berbunga-bunga.



iyalah dua orang yang aku rasa sangat panas bersama.. huhuh aku yang membara.

this ad here is soo whack, i cant keep my face straight when my boss spoke english.



we always got confused, cause when he said thick - we thought its sig (as is sigma).

and ultimately, when he says, 'i sink... that....'

watch the vid, you'll understand.

14th march

i turn twenty bleeping one.

einstein died.

its pi day.

and im having maths final.


how more mathematical can today be??



p/s : best jugak makan goreng(nasi+pisang) pagi-pagi. muahahahaha

yea okay since issue gay o straight is out, i just wanted to confess something.

i am straight.

but looking at shane, just standing there, on screen, this just hits me.

am i straight? am i straight?? am i??? cause if i am, then im not suppose to feel this.

ngahaha but justification after justification;

• just think, les sex is soo petty. you know what i mean if you know the L word. a lot of work to ensure 2 women actually undergo orgasm.
• i am religious. im not saying im pious, but im religious. hahah.
• emm thats it. i think my first and second justifications are strong enough.

so, yes. i am damn straight.



but what the heck. if shane (and only shane alone) wanna make out (and make out alone, no dildos no nothing) with me, why not?? what are the odds anyways? you tell me.

boleh tak sekali dalam seumur hidup aku sekurang-kurangnya sekali aku rasa aku sebenarnya bersedia untuk melangkah masuk dalam dewan peperiksaan??

hmm.

i dont need muses. i just need one.

the ying to my yang.

the gravity to pull me back when im drifting.

the oxygen when i suffocate.

the tyler durden of my fight club.

like the zanpakutou of a shinigami.

the clearasil to my zit.

the dictionary to my deutsch.

The Muse. my muse.


thats all.

now i can remember.

what does it really mean if i had more than 4 dreams that took place at the same background? it was my childhood house till im around 9-10 years old.

remember the tiger kid that jumped up on me? yea now i remember. i was in the house. my childhood house.

and i had another dream in which i had to build a room into a sound and smellproof one. because my boss (former) wanted to conceal a murder. since the fact that his stupidity is apparent, therefore i wouldnt even want to waste my time (not that time really is essential in dreams) to question him why wouldnt he just bury the corpse and let it decay. my point is, the room is in my childhood house.

and there were a few more.

questions questions questions.

or am i just paranoid to analyze every single dream that i can remember?

speaking of dreams that i can remember, couple of days ago i dreamt of two siput babis mating. geli nak mati. but then again its prolly an effect watching the L word.

ngehngeh.

kate moennig is somewhat meg ryan meets milla jovovich. and somewhere between those two there's ellen degenerees.

simply stunning.

this is what they call girl crush?

no. nothing serious. just adoration. great actress, though.

work is dunzo. finally im off from The psychotic Pervs.

imagine how torturing it is to sit in the office with him staring at the computer for more than 6 hours every single day of the week including on saturdays. aku belajar pon tak macam gitu. but oh wait - bila aku belajar pon?

anyway.

i cant fucking stand his voice answering the phone. so full of .. shit. and hipocracy. if at the other end of the line is a woman, he would say things like, "oh you have a very beautiful voice" or "surely a very nice lady like you yourself can work things out".

oh okay, so you think, 'whats wrong with being charming?'
but honey, i tell you this. he is not charming. he's just being.. yish.. menggelikan. oh and if he's talking to a guy, then he would be telling about the girls working for him aka "oh right now im having these two hubsches malaysian girls, bla bla" or "i had this girl working for me this one time, bla bla.." or "oh yea, yea, i remember that girl. bla bla bla". perempuan perempuan perempuan.

but finally when his mom barged in the office (guess what - he lives with his parents. and he's, like, 40 something. L.O.S.E.R) lectured him for hiring different girls every single month. his mom was soooo pissed off that she actually warned this new russian girl that her son is very the miang. kakakakakakakaka i swear to god it was so fakken painful to keep my face straight. at the time. the (biatch) secretary told me that the russian girl is the 3rd girl of the month (february at the time).

oh. rupenye telenovela jugak orang german ni. the best part was when the mother came in to have yet another cat fight and he took the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed the carpet. i mean, wtf is going on??? ngahahaha and the song secreto de amor came into my mind and played non-stop the whole day. (sebab satu lagu tu je lagu telenovela yang lekat dalam otak masa tu)

anyway.

worse of all. i cant fucking stand his sense of humor.
he thinks a muslim woman taking off her cap (the cap he asked to wear) is funny. i know. i dont get it either. but apparently, when he asked me to take my cap off and i made a face, he then laughed and said it was just a joke. in front of the whole staff. fucker.

i still find it okay, if he offers us vodka or tea with alcohol. ha ha. but to repeat them like 10 times at different times - please la bitch. if i dont even curve my lips to smile then its just time to wrap it around your head - its. not. funny.

and telling people i'm his girlfriend. Puke!! Puke!!!!!! and he's shorter than me!!

and he always touches my shoulder when i'm off guard. and then said, 'im joking.' i had gossebumps everytime. fuck it man - its sexual harassment!!!!!

aku geli ahhh laki miang!!! get a hooker lah oi! aku bagi pelempang hang tuah baru tahu.

okay, so another point which made me think - oh ada lagi kah orang sebegini di negara maju ini??

all the computers in his office (ada 3 je pon) were all oldschool. i mean, no prob. but microsoft office pon tak ada original- apa cerita? doesnt he know that its actually illegal for a company to do such thing?

and then his diskette drive broke down. he wanted to test the drive with other diskettes and asked me if i own one. i was like, ' no i dun own diskettes. at all.' and he asked, 'what??! diskettes are not modern anymore??' and i was, 'ummm yap. pretty much. most laptops dont have built in diskette drives anymore.' and he asked, 'so what do people use these days?'

i gagged. i couldnt put on my poker face this time. it was just reflex and my jaw dropped.

'people use.. USB or CD i guess. even better if you have bluetooth' (which i highly doubt).

'so you have any idea to transfer these files to another computer asap?'

'yea, you could use my ipod for a while'

and he stared unbelievably because it has never occur to him that an mp3 player could save files. maybe he just doesnt get the whole idea of an mp3 player in the first place.

god i miss tektronix. this work experience hasnt contribute to me educationally at all. unless planting a 15 feet tree is educational.

this is a mental torture.

updates.

my first day of work is the worstseeeesst first day of work in the history of worst first days. i just had too much of what the fuck moments in one week time that it has come to one point which i think that this couldnt be real anymore.

the cool boss apparently isnt cool at all. the first day of work he just left 3 of us - who had no idea what the hell to do - on the streets with a dysfunctional gate.and we're suppose to repait it. what the fuck?

typical german wheather - raining all day long. we were standing in the cold for what seemed like forever. the boss said he needed to go to court to settle something official. i wanted soo much to pee but had to walk for 15003762 km to look for toilets. we didnt bring anything along aka money, therefore we couldnt budge from where we were. no food no drinks, just us, the stupid gate, the cold and the rain. for 6 fucking hours. what the fuck??

on our way back to the workshop, the boss was talking to his friend in the phone about us (malaysian girls la konon). then, he insisted us to go with to some party the next day. sure he mentioned it earlier but we all thought it was midday. apparently, its an evening party. and he promised his friend to introduce us to his friend. what the fuck?? he's pimping us out or what??

the fact that we couldnt wear hijabs- thus me wearing serkup and extra large cap with turtle necks and mufflers - yea, makes me feel like a fucking social retard. i mean- what the fuck is the problem there?? he said - i have no problems with hijabs but clients do. yea, right. so why cant i just wear them in the workshop? lame reason, honey. kalau boleh dia nak kami bukak semua. i wont do it if he oferred me 1 million euro.

the next day, we worked with the same retarded gate. he was there all right - making sounds to every woman who passed by. please la bitch, have some self respect. macam la kitorang semua tak tahu kau ni desperate , wanted to get laid, since you're bachelor terlajak. good thing we girls werent the only one who felt that. lelaki german lain pon. muahaha. we declined the party invitation, since mamat-mamat german lain pon nasihat jangan pergi. i mean- what the fuck?? if the party is suppose to be a company thing - why invite only the female population??

the thing got me so pissed sampai rasa mahu belasah orang;
i am fine with the fact that there's only one female toilet. alah bengkel je pon. but im not fine with the fact that we couldnt use it, eventhough the changing room is next to it. instead we have to walk all the way to male toilet to settle any natural calls. what the fuck?? what's the problem? the only person who can use the toilet is his secretary. okay so we thought - oh maybe she's using her own toilet paper, so we brought our own. i dont do natural calls in public toilets so i dont care much about the toilet paper. tapi aku kenalah ambil wudhuk. takkan nak ambil wudhuk kat toilet lelaki. so yesterday right after work we went in to change and guess what??? the fucking biatch secretary padlock the toilet. what the fuck?? busuk gila hati. dah la aku tak pernah nampak minah demanding ni, tapi aku rasa ringan ja tangan macam nak kasik satu tumbukan. gila. maybe she has some problem with foreigners. or maybe she's the one who pays all the water bills. or maybe she got some herpes and doesnt want to share it with other female population in the company. beats me. tapi kenapa aku rasa dia tak semulia itu?? ugh. witch! i soo wish she does have herpes and it fucking burnssss everytime she pees. muahahaha. i know i know i have ill thinkings.

so this morning, i refuse to go to work. elly refused to wake up. and minim is the only one who i think felt responsible about the whole working thing, so she got up and left. good for you, girl. i dont care.its not like he's paying any of his azubi and praktikanten doing all the work for his company. dah belambak-belambak apprentice timbul di kampeni dia, its not any different if i go to work or not. the hell with him. it brings a bit of comfort to know that at least we're not the only one whos complaining. the whole bunch hari-hari mengutuk dia. hahah. i lyke!

but ugh. what the fuck?? it doesnt change the fact that i went to work for just 3 days no more. and im still counting for these days to end.

i have always thought mckenzie as the younger version of crowe. no??

crap.

i am fakken embarrassed to go to class. thus the anti-socialness.

papers dont seemed to be tough but somehow i managed not to answer them. prolly because of the last minute cramming. and panic attack. and break down. blergh. wtf. i'll repeat with open heart.

and ugh. monday i'll be working. malasnya aku mahu berschweißen..

----------

i dig heavy films. or at least the non-conclusive.

which got me the thinking, aku ni sadist ke?? mungkin. atau aku ni dramatic. sebab aku suka ending orang mati. sebab itu baru namanya ending. dan aku suka buat kesimpulan muahahah.

----------

apart from johnny depp, now i think edward norton is one hella talented individual.

thats it. i cant do tae-bo no more.

backpain issues!!

i'll stick to pilates.

aku sedih gila.

1) ermm The News. pecah hati, okay?

2) semenjak dua tiga tahun ni, aku tak boleh tido kalau esok aku ada paper exam. macam-macam. contohnya, aku bergolek-golek selama 1-2 jam sebelum lelap mata. atau aku akan bangun hampir setiap jam. ataupun yang paling seksa - mimpi ngeri.

3) semalam aku mimpi ngeri sekali lagi.

mimpi bermula dengan seronok sekali. aku dan beberapa rakan (x hingat muka tapi berkemungkinan tinggi glace kerana aku rasa aku ingat muka amyan kahkah) pergi bercuti ke suatu tempat yang rupanya seakan-akan sepanyol/greek - kerana manusia bulih melepak di atas bukit sambil melihat laut. ah susah benar nak memperumpamakan pemandangan tersebut. apa yang aku ingat, selepas itu aku dah bersiap sedia hendak terjun masuk kolam renang, tapi 3 saat sebelum aku mengangkat kakiku untuk menjunam, tiba-tiba ada makhluk menyuakan satu kertas soalan. aku harus mengira bagaimana untuk melakukan penjunaman yang paling berkesan. dan terdapat coretan seperti cos ß sin ß entah hapa momentum pusingan dan lain-lain. benci betul. hati pedih. dan aku tidak bulih berenang kerana aku tidak tahu menjawab soalan tersebut malahan itulah pertama kali aku melihat soalan begitu ropa. jahaaaaat jahaaaat!! dan mimpi ku diakhiri dengan menyaksikan beberapa mat salleh sedang 'snorting some coke'. (tak tau dalam bm apa)

4) need i say more?? paper mechanik hari ni. tak boley jawab..

this is it.

after years of waiting. after pushes of attempts.

its official. i am jack's broken heart.

that's it.

this is the end.

i have got to say this.

i had enough looking at poseurss. emm malaysian poseurss. i mean, come on. you dont have to display you holding dark-glassed bottles in a middle of a rave just to show the whole word you can party like hard-cores. and snap with some drunk caucasian just to tell people you're somewhat outgoing. kissing the opposite sex to advertise that you're umm.. promiscuous? wearing skanky outfits holding a little olive in you salt-rimmed martini just to shout out you belong to somewhat THE upper class of the society. and prolly the children of important people in malaysia. and worse of all, you claim yourself to be a muslim. please. (me- rollin eyes)

shessh. okay. apa masalah aku? hahah i just have so much hate that i want to vent it out here. thank you very much. im just stating that i detest all the grandstand plays. comprendez??

because im worried. malaysia is very unstable right now. with politics. and weather. banjir belum settle, elnino is coming. and will prolly stay for a while. what will most of the "prominent" people do? bawak isteri, anak-anak dan saudara mara lari ke luar negara. while these people busy sipping their chardonnays, and their children busy climbing up the social ladder, the "common people" in malaysia are the one whos going through the agony of the instability that the "upper class" triggered.

stating my piece of mind. peace out, y'all.

When i said i love watching House MD, everybody went like, 'God, can you be lamer??'

Apperently, its now the biggest hit on television. Beating Greys Anatomy and Prison Break.

TAKE THAT, YOU LAME-Ossss!!!






p/s : and its educational too.

-oh blogger dah upgrade. bagus.

-buat tae bo 30 mins rasa nak pengsan. gila sakit.

-i dont get it. seriesli. people always come up to me and assumed that im actually athletic. since i was younger, people tend to think i can do sports. merepek!!! gimme any kind of balls, i cant score. o wait. wait wait. scratch that. hahahhahahahaha not all balls. i think. yish.

anyhoo, what im trying to say is, there has got to be a reason behind that aitt? nak kata aku ada broad shoulder, tak jugak. nak kata aku berotot ketul-ketul, people cant tell, can they? with my black clothes and all. oh mungkin they think all the flabbiness are muscles? ermm maybe not. nak kata aku kurus - hahaha. yea, sure. harsh features, maybe? and the way i present myself? and the way i talk? aww come on, i thought jocks are jerks? im a jerk? whattt?? no wayyyy. cewah tanak ngaku.

but seriously. last month i went to a job interview and my boss (future anyways) said im athletic. and all three of us (elly and minim) broke a big laugh. lized?? sports?? kohkoh. im flattered by the way. and he offered to stay longer at the mall - so that i can 'nette männer schauen' (mengusha lelaki hensem). hahahahahahah. cool la boss aku. macam paham-paham. the thing i dont understand is - why among three he offered me? aku pakai tudung dan hitam whereas one didnt wear any and the other was wearing a flourescent yellow hijab. ermm shoudnt i be the one who fits the 'self-blaster' criteria?? among three i dont think i look like the flamboyant one.

so it got me the thinking, should i be flattered or feel insulted? because i pushed away all the stereotypes about muslims being reserved - and we can be cool too. but at the same time i dont potray and present as a good muslim. i honestly dont know.

but i guess its just me. all me.

kepingin mahu nasi goreng usa....

hari pertama peperiksaan : technical drawing

perasaan sebelum : apa aku nak jawab ni??

perasaan semasa : haha kelaka pulak.
exam open book - buku tak membantu.
orang depan meniru - tak membantu juga.
elly disebelah - tak membantu juga (wavelength otak sama dgn aku).
pensel, pembaris, pemadam acapkali berjatuh-jatuhan memecahkan hening atmosfera peperiksaan- tak membantu juga.
orang ketawa bila barang aku semua jatuh - tidak membantu sama sekali.

perasaan selepas : hahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAH

aku high sial. konfem repeat. kecuali kalau miracle berlaku.

penyelesaian : duit jpa dah masuk. retail theraphy!! tadi masuk innenstadt, esok aku nak pegi jalan ikea.

tralala~

ever had one of those uncomfyness at least once a month, like having back pain and stomach pain, in the middle of the cold, especially during menstruation?? aka periodpain?? and you just HATE it?? and you can't take one of the menstrual panadol crap anymore??

well well lucky you. cause you got me to figure things out for you!

muahah. hah. hah.

just take a verrrry long hot shower. not warm but hot. preferably accompanied by songs like 'kissing a fool' or 'moondance'.

guarantied. very soothing.

has anybody ever questioned her/himself, why the hell am i doing this?? why did i chose this??

i do.

this is hard. no one has ever told me that this is gonna be hard. i mean, i confess, i did take things for granted, thinking things will be served on a silver platter. but that doesnt mean i have never anticipated that its gonna be hard as well.

its just... this is just harder than i thought it would be.

and then, there comes the 'what if' game. what if -? what if -? what if -? but then there will be to much questions with no answers. so why bother asking in the first place?

because i am such an avoider. if i have one wish i would want to be in the state of cryptobiosis. be still. but that doesnt stop time from running. doesnt change anything. at all. so why bother making a wish in the first place?

because i'm the kind of person who would always take the easiest way out. now there is no option left. no turning back. no nothing. just one road in front of me. and i need to do this. but i'm almost worn. no. i take it back. i'm not worn. i just barely started.

i'm just.. this close (setengah cm) to bailing out. i hope i dont break down and leave things as it is. its just so very the chicken of me to do so.

so whats the verdict, huh??





doubtful. very doubtful.




p/s : this is a freaking out session.

semalam aku mimpi...

doremon buat showcase kat pekan bocholt.
macam tak percaya pulak orang german layan katun jepung.
aku pon terhegeh hegeh kayuh basikal pergi pekan nak tengok doremon.
lepas masuk tempat showcase doremon dah tak beraksi.
tapi makanan free dijamu kepada orang ramai.
aku pon apa lagi, nak serbu lah.
cuba teka makanan apa yang di jamu???


hah?? dorayaki??




SALAH!!

jawapanya....




CEKODOK!!!!!

lagi aku tak percaya orang jepung layan makanan melayu.
tibak aku bangun.
terus pergi dapur.
tak gosok gigi, tak basuh muka.
terus lenyek pisang, nak buat cekodok.
terus goreng.
lepas mandi try la telan cekodok.
masin???
laaaaaa..
lupa nak tuka minyak rupanya.
habis kunyit garam goreng ayam semalam melekat kat cekodok.


cisss. doremon punya pasal.

omg omg omg omg omfg!!!

hahah guys look what i found. this came to me while i was doing the dishes. biasalah aku kan buat kerja tak lemah gemalai so while rearranging the pots and pans, keluarlah bunyi bunyian. dengan tiba-tiba - mulut aku menuturkan perkataan-perkataan ini satu persatu ;

she'd scour the pot and scrape the pan
and thooooooough her daddy would scream and shout!!

HAHAHA sapa ingat angkat tangan??!!!! (dengan semangat ahli kelas dua jaya mengangkat tangan) so i googled and found....

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout
Would not take the garbage out!
She'd scour the pots and scrape the pans,
Candy the yams and spice the hams,
And though her daddy would scream and shout,
She simply would not take the garbage out.
And so it piled up to the ceilings:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings,
Brown bananas, rotten peas,
Chunks of sour cottage cheese.
It filled the can, it covered the floor,
It cracked the window and blocked the door
With bacon rinds and chicken bones,
Drippy ends of ice cream cones,
Prune pits, peach pits, orange peel,
Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,
Pizza crusts and withered greens,
Soggy beans and tangerines,
Crusts of black burned buttered toast,
Gristly bits of beefy roasts. . .
The garbage rolled on down the hall,
It raised the roof, it broke the wall. . .
Greasy napkins, cookie crumbs,
Globs of gooey bubble gum,
Cellophane from green baloney,
Rubbery blubbery macaroni,
Peanut butter, caked and dry,
Curdled milk and crusts of pie,
Moldy melons, dried-up mustard,
Eggshells mixed with lemon custard,
Cold french fried and rancid meat,
Yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat.
At last the garbage reached so high
That it finally touched the sky.
And all the neighbors moved away,
And none of her friends would come to play.
And finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said,
"OK, I'll take the garbage out!"
But then, of course, it was too late. . .
The garbage reached across the state,
From New York to the Golden Gate.
And there, in the garbage she did hate,
Poor Sarah met an awful fate,
That I cannot now relate
Because the hour is much too late.
But children, remember Sarah Stout
And always take the garbage out!

Shel Silverstein, 1974

WEEEE!


what a great day. the suns up, the winds blowing and all i need are sand, sea and surf to complete the day. heheh. no, seriously the most important thing that contributed to this bliss - the black out. had the most blackest black out last night. as in, black out otak. i couldnt get myself to sleep for a few days now, and last night, whoa. like, whoa. i woke up smiling, thats how great it was.




anyhoo im just wondering, how come i could be such a retard at times? happened to me couple of times;

i just sit, staring blankly at the wall, wondering what the hell i'm suppose to do next. i know i need to do something - pronto - but what?? should i text someone, should i pray, oh no scratch that, did that already. hmm should i go and eat? or.. ugh what??

oh yea. i know.

nak pergi berak jap.







supastik, kan??

memonteng kelas itu nikmat.

peperiksaan itu serabut.

mengayuh basikal itu kesakitan.

membeli barangan itu kebahagiaan.

bankrapsi itu sengsara.

lagha itu memusnahkan.

rabun (serta astig) itu tidak menyelesakan.

lagu lama (motown, rock n roll, 50s, 60s, 70s) itu menaikkan sheikh (hahah high??).

chia (andy chiavetta y'all) itu panas.

skimmboardin itu godaan.

dan cinta itu... pedih?

oh aku tidak tahu. rupanya Orkan Kyrill sedang meributi hampir seluruh Eropah.

aku sepatutnya ke kelas pagi tadi. malangnya ku terpassed out lalu terbangun lambat. bila ku buka mata, angin sepoi² sprache (bahasa) bertiup.

bila ku buka berita, ropanya Kyrill. tidaklah sesepoi yang kusangka.

tempatku. 1 Knot = 1.85 km/h

fuhh ini adalah kelajuan angin dalam masa 1 pm, pada masa yang sama aku patut berkayuhan pulang ke rumah.

alhamdulillah ku tertidur. kalau ku berkayuh ke kelas pagi tadi, basikalku mesti tidak bergerak. lembu hanya mampu memandang penuh simpati sahaja.

(dengan nada seriuus) 3 nyawa telah terkorban di Jerman akibat ribut ini.

uhh?

-bank negara's cheuque bounced?

-PKN kids being sent to johor to help the flood victims??

-there's GAN (Gerakan Anti-Najib) ??

-Anwars fighting Najib?

-Najib has something to do with the Mongolian model's murder??

-and he's trying to meet Mahathir, who's up in London, but refused to meet Najib?

-and uummmm.. Pak Lah went down and under to Australia to ummmm.. merasmikan restoran Nasi Kandar??

-all these while Johorians are struggling to keep their heads up above the water?? literally.







man.. politics back at home is sooo scandalous, i live for this shit. even if half of it are not true, they are still juicy rumors!!

i am currently listening to;
-Surfer Babe - McFly-

i am currently having a chain of thoughts regarding;

-surfing-

-jack johnson (and 'girl i wanna lay you down') -



and thus, making me think of;


and then, makes me feel almost impossible to;

-get those abs!!!-






damn the song surfer babe!

p/s : has anybody ever tried eating kitkat after brushing teeth? sedap gila tak tipu.

esok aku nak kayuh beskal pergi PLUS membeli ;





saja ja. walaupon aku dah byk lampu dalam bilik ni tapi aku sungguh tak tahan tengok lampu bermosaic itu. dan selama setahun disini aku bersejadahkan kain kecik oleh itu aku akan membeli rug cotton 10 euro. sekian.

while i was golek-goleking on the bed, there was this smell that hit my nostrils. a familiar smell. a smell of my childhood.

to be honest, i can't really remember my childhood in my nucleus family, apart from my mom rushing us to go to school every morning. when it comes to holidays, i just remembered spending them with my cousins, uncles and aunts.

and i don't know why, these images of me, my couz and my grandma, spending time in a big wooden bungalow (seemed big to me anyways, since i was smaller at that time) kept on haunting me this couple of days. and oh the smell. wonders smell can do.

i can't exactly remember at which beach we spent that holiday since every holiday we seemed to spend at beaches (thus kulit ku yang lebih hitam berbanding adik beradikku ini kehkeh). all i can remember is, the bungalow was just next to the beach but somehow we had to take a cable car to get there (berbukit yang maha tinggi agaknya). and every breakfast we sit together on the balcony overviewing the sea. i was so darn excited to get up every morning, and ate my breakfast as quickly as i could while watching jet skis.

and that was the time when i found out that i was a premature baby. tokyan (grandma) apparently was in the story-mory mode and after she finished her tale on how she spent her childhood, she told us about her experience as a grandma pulak. and then, about my birth. she said the doctor told my mum that she needs to do a cesarean operation, because my internal organs had developed within only 7 months. and since i could already digest, and bernyahtinja on my own, they need to get me out of there or i'll eat my own crap. yish. what a disturbing image.

well anyhooooo, i missed those days. days that i just could lay on the beach, letting the waves catch my body, hair and whatever else i had on. days that i could just hop on anybody's back to get a ride of jet ski. and eventually getting to drive it on my own. and then there's always banana boat. and lala kutiping. and then later eat it. sedap woooo rasa puas macam nelayan. kutip lala buat masak lemak cili api. haihhh... and then watch my skin gets dry - lack of sunlotion - lepas tu panggil kaki keringku kaki bersisik. and pretend i'm turning into a mermaid.

hahahHAHAHAH iye aku penuh imiginasi masa kecik-kecik dulu.

so come to think of it, its prolly why i don't really have my own space in the house. right after i went into the boarding school, my room was turned into the closet/bilik simpanan baju/ironing room. then currently, my dad turned the room as The Jamming Room. guitars, amplifiers blabla guitar maintenance.

so since tokyan passed away, i sometimes dominate her room. with a shower of my own. and telephone. the downside is - aircond rosak. and the fan twirls like shit. macam takada angin. so i resort to the living room occasionally. and i crash my sis's room. lama kelamaan aku tido aja dimana mataku nak tutup.

so now having my own room - and space - i loved it. still does. and i still will. everything in here is mine. and i have ultimate authority on every single item. where to put, which to throw, what color to decide (green semestinya). hahaha its MY perrogative!! (macam gila kuasa pulak). thus explains why i could be messy at times and a neat freak at times. because i need space on my own to implement my own system. and thats why i'm actually the biggest slob at home - even my dad can't tolerate it. heheheh actually coming from a man - it is embarassing. but then again, my dad is the ultimate perfectionist so... apa-apakan sajalaah abahhh!